I won't feel guilty just because I keep doing what I love and seeing my friends. And I'm not giving up on my life now that I'm a mom
If there is one thing that I have always poorly tolerated, it is clichés, especially when they turn into absolute realities for which we seem destined. And this is the case of the total absence of social life, or almost, which is attributed to the parents.
"Do it now while you can" or "After you will not even have time to go to the cinema" I have heard repeatedly from my friends who are already mothers, that more than advice, these seemed like threats. So I wondered for a long time if becoming a mother really meant totally canceling my being a woman, friend and lover.
I have always known that the arrival of a child turns life upside down, even when I was not a mother. But what I was wondering is why some parents totally canceled their lives by giving up travel, going out with friends and even just a simple movie night.
I promised myself it wouldn't happen to me. That I would do everything to reconcile the family with my passions, interests, with my life.
I remember the feeling of freedom, lightness and carefree that I felt when, convinced by my friends, I attended a huge party just two weeks after the birth of my baby. I was reluctant to accept the invitation, I admit, and the guilt became overbearing and insistent every time I thought "Oh yeah, come on" until my husband told me "Go and enjoy the evening, I'll take care of the baby" .
So I did it, wore my most sparkling dress and went out to experience an unforgettable evening. And I enjoyed it so much that I promised myself that this would not become the extraordinary and rare event to be repeated once every two years: that could be my life.
Of course it took some organization as I have a family and a child who needs my care. But having a social life wasn't going to make me a bad mom. So I chose not to resign myself and, on the contrary, to commit myself a little more in making my being a mother coexist with my being a friend, lover and above all a woman. Going out and seeing friends, finding time to share with my partner, organizing a trip, going to the cinema or even a party, all of this is possible.
Do not believe those who tell you that you will no longer have a social life, do not resign yourself to doing nothing more just because you have become parents. That's not necessarily how it has to go if you want to.