How to (in a healthy way) vent anger and frustration?

How to (in a healthy way) vent anger and frustration?

How to give voice and expression to a noble feeling such as anger and avoid holding onto frustration, giving yourself value


  • Anger and frustration
  • Let off steam in a healthy way: 4 useful tips
    • Get under the pillow
    • Voice and nature
    • Deep breathing
    • Dance

Anger and frustration

We feel anger when we do not feel seen / and, when we are unable to express what we want at all, when a sense of restlessness from previous wounds envelops us. Anger expressed little or no or badly also generates the landing towards a state that we call frustration and that identifies a psychological state that derives from a lack of or inhibited need due to external or endogenous causes; as if the deep desire or the state of need – not being properly satisfied – became obstacles, stones on the stomach. Anger represents a noble feeling, our way of saying and affirming that we are in the world. How to make it explode? How to make it burst, how to manifest it? When domesticated, anger does not correspond to anger, it loses its nature and its charge.

Especially as regards the female gender, anger is still conceived as something unexpected, uncomfortable, annoying; the woman is often not given a way to express her anger, but anger corresponds to an emotion that knows no gender and that does not need permission or concessions. Anger has not only a sense and a meaning or a way of expressing itself, as well as frustration which has various facets. There is impediment frustration (given by the impossibility of satisfying a desire); by delay (continually postpone one’s own desires or needs or submit them to the times of others); from a conflict between opposing needs (the classic example of those who may have to work or study but at the same time would like to go out and cultivate friendships or vices).

The physical environment, social aspects, spouses, relatives, education do not allow us to give vent to our true nature. A small dose of frustration or anger can also act as an engine, but if they accumulate and exceed the dosage of the person, there is an excessive rationalization, repression, compensatory fantasies. Both anger and frustration – if not adequately expressed – lead to a sense of annoyance and repulsion for the real condition one is experiencing. Even aggressive behavior triggered by anger or frustration could lead us to show aggression in the face of frustration in order to remove or destroy the person or situation that made us feel that particular feeling. This type of emotion can be expressed in a manifest way and therefore find a direct and explicit or masked form, as in the case of passive-aggressive behaviors.

Let off steam in a healthy way: 4 useful tips

Let’s see together with 4 practical tips how to vent anger in a healthy way and live this emotion to the fullest:

Get under the pillow

It sounds like bizarre advice, but when we need to let off steam, a pillow might be for us. When we feel we want to give rise to our angry emotions, we can put a nice pillow per handstand and hit it several times, with the thrust coming from the whole body. Also great to use a baseboard or stick. If you also want to combine a domestic cleaning aspect, you can let off steam with the mattress pad also to remove mites and free the mattress from excess dust. Any soft surface is good for venting, the important thing remains not to hurt your wrists or hands and try to vent with as little damage to the joints as possible. You can also get help from a friend who holds the pillow and which you can then “blow up with a barrel”.

Voice and nature

You can try to get to the top of a hill or a mountain and let yourself go to the best of screams, letting the voice come out with the diaphragm work and without worrying about the kind of sound that comes out. Being in nature we can have a real contact with our nature and with our inner strength. Freeing your energies by being in nature allows you to lighten up and feel good in a new way. Spending time in nature helps us to let go and get in touch with an important inner strength that we can live as a reservoir and resource.

Deep breathing

To manage the stress of moments of excessive frustration and anger, try to reconnect with your belly, navel and the way you breathe. Breathing helps bring us back to the here and now and allows us to have direct contact with the present. Breathing deeply lightens and makes fluid, also allowing direct access to humor and irony that save us from making everything tragic and seeing everything without hope. Breathing moves many main and secondary muscles and puts us in contact with our source force. Staying in contact with our inhalations and exhalations allows us not to waste any more time judging ourselves or feeling wrong / s; in fact, sometimes the judgment we apply to ourselves / and becomes the sword of Damocles that does not allow us to move forward, to look beyond.


We don’t think about it often, but dance has an important value also for what concerns the manifestation of emotions. The dance unlocks, removes resistances, eliminates tensions, allows us to unload on the ground and makes us feel in the lightness and in the wave of the total vital spirit. When we dance we feel in the flow of life and we are able to unblock the chain of thoughts, especially the negative ones.

Category: Welfare
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