The day I stopped judging mothers

The day I stopped judging mothers

No parent is perfect, but all mothers are perfect because they share the most beautiful mission in the world: to grow and make their children happy.

While it is true that we should always leave others free to act and make their choices, it is also true that the irresistible mania of judging others makes us slaves to a vicious circle. This is especially true when you become a parent, or when you are not yet. I did it. I have judged. And then I was judged.

I realized that being a mother is beautiful, joyful and tiring. It is overwhelming for all women, even if the experiences are definitely subjective. I realized that there are many, too many, negative opinions, unsolicited advice and unwelcome comments just because they are not understood or are different from their own. Yet all parents are the same, even if they make different choices. All mothers share the same mission: to do what is best for their children, even if they choose completely different paths and paths.

I understood when I became a mother that there is no one and only model to follow. That there is no parental perfection, but that all mothers are perfect in their own way. Those who breastfeed and those who don't, those who decide to let their little ones play at play or those who buy them a smartphone are. They are those who dress their little girls with the overalls, to the detriment of that colorful and floral dress that would make them look like dolls.

And I could bring another ten, a hundred, a thousand examples. Because the battlegrounds of motherhood are many, but all artificial, because they are stereotyped. Yet it would be enough to remember, before pointing the finger at each other, that we are first of all women, people, with our stories and our experiences, with a personal ability to choose and act. And that we are mothers, and like the others we move for the good of our children, even when we make mistakes, according to our rules. Even when others don't understand. Even if we are not perfect.

All mothers work for the most beautiful cause in the world: the well-being of their children. You must never judge them, neither when you are a mother, nor when you are not. And to remember it, I share with you this wonderful poem by Nede Baulies Muas.

And one day I realized the mother who dressed her daughters in leggings to go to a birthday … because it seemed more comfortable … and the mother who did it because she didn't have time to put on her party dresses. Even that mother who leaves her children barefoot because she thinks it's the best thing, like the one who keeps them all day with their shoes on. I understood the one who came to a meeting with a discouraged face asking someone to take care of the child because he needed to go quietly to the bathroom or to sit and talk to others. And I understood that mom who hugged her baby and didn't share it with anyone despite everyone's critical looks.
I understood the one who is late – I never imagined until today how difficult it is to be all ready in time -.
I understood that mother who in a restaurant does not know how to calm her son, while others look at her with an expression of how little she knows about being a mother … I understood that mother who does not know what to do in the face of a crisis of her son's crying and tantrums on the street.
How did I understand …
The one who breastfeeds.
What not.
The one that gets back to work quickly.
The one who decides to stay at home.
One day I became a mother and accepted that I wasn't perfect.
I have learned my form, I see myself in each one, I hug and help those I can and I hug myself together with them.

Tag: Moms

Category: Mom
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