The quality of our work, personal life and level of self-confidence depend on how easily and effectively we establish communication with others. Being sociable means not only being able to speak, but also being able to find the key to each interlocutor, be it a close friend, colleague or a stranger on the street.
In this article we will tell you what communication skills are, why they are needed and how to develop them in children and adults.
- What is this
- Why is it needed?
- Signs
- How to develop a child
- How to develop as an adult
- Development techniques
What is communication skills
Still from the film “Before Midnight”
Sociability is a person's ability to easily establish contact with other people, establish and maintain good relationships, understand and be understood. A sociable person knows how to speak interestingly, listen attentively and find an approach even to a difficult interlocutor.
Man is a social being, that is, inextricably linked with society. But sometimes people are afraid to communicate with others, even if the contact is not direct. For example, there is often a fear of phone calls (to make an appointment with a doctor, a hairdresser, to reserve a table in a restaurant).
Having understood the reason for the fear of the interlocutor, you can begin to work on the problem. Psychologist Elena Kandybina offers several options for getting rid of the fear of talking to people.
- Sometimes the scariest thing is to start a conversation. Learn universal phrases for different situations or sign up for courses on effective communication.
- If you are afraid of communicating with strangers, try calming exercises. For example, “Square breathing”: 4 seconds inhale, 4 seconds pause, 4 seconds exhale, 4 seconds pause. Activate your attention and find five single-color objects around you. For several minutes, focus on one part of the body, for example, your hand.
- Difficulties may be related to the communication environment, which creates uncertainty about what and how to say. Study the communication environment, concepts and rules accepted in it.
- If the fear of communication is uncontrollable and very difficult to suppress, it may be an anxiety disorder. Seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Why is communication skills necessary?
Still from the film “Midnight in Paris”
Below we explain why communication skills are important and what exactly they provide.
Satisfaction of basic human needs
Communication is important for any person. It gives the opportunity to confidently and clearly express oneself, one's ideas, thoughts and aspirations (1).
Career advancement
Communication skills will help you pass an interview and get a good job. The ability to correctly formulate your thoughts, work in a team, not be afraid to ask questions and maintain a casual conversation with colleagues and management during lunch breaks gives the employee certain advantages. In the future, it will be easier for him to get a promotion. In many companies, communication skills are becoming an important criterion for hiring.
Strengthening interpersonal connections
Communication skills help to establish trusting relationships with people, which is important both in personal and professional life.
Personal development
Interacting with different people, gaining new knowledge, and exchanging information broadens horizons and develops critical thinking.
Self-confidence
A person who knows how to express his thoughts competently, defend his point of view and find a common language with others feels free and comfortable in a variety of situations.
Signs of a sociable person
Still from the film “Lost in Translation”
How is sociability expressed and what is characteristic of a sociable person:
- Knows how to listen. A sociable person not only hears, but also understands what is said to him. He truly participates in the conversation, shows genuine interest in what is said, pays attention to your feelings (2).
- Masters the art of small talk. Such “small talk” helps to make acquaintances with the right people (for example, for promotion at work). And if the dialogue does not work out, you need to be able to end it.
- Adapts to different conditions. A sociable person “moves” effortlessly from one company to another, adjusting his behavior depending on the place and society in which he finds himself (2).
- Good speaker. He speaks competently, consistently and expresses his thoughts convincingly, chooses words that are understandable to the interlocutor, and does not overuse jargon or complex terms.
- Self-confident. The person calmly but decisively expresses his position, is not afraid to make mistakes and takes criticism calmly.
- Respects other people's boundaries. It's important to know when to give someone space or avoid certain topics. Outgoing people want and enjoy talking, but value the comfort of others (2).
How to develop communication skills in a child
Still from the film “Miracle”
Clinical psychologist Elvira Kettler explains that problems with communication skills are more often experienced by shy and anxious children. You need to communicate with them tactfully and patiently. You need to try to create situations of success for the child that will contribute to the development of self-confidence. To do this, Kettler advises choosing such assignments or tasks that the child will certainly cope with. You can motivate your request by the fact that the adult cannot do without his help.
The psychologist advises developing independence and initiative in the child, for example, by asking him to give money to the seller or to ask someone for something himself.
How to develop communication skills in adults
An adult, like a child, is capable of developing communication skills. This is not a question of age, but of the desire and efforts that he will make. Although life experience has already formed certain habits and character traits, this does not mean that they are unchangeable. Psychologist Elena Kandybina spoke about the development of communication skills in adults.
Techniques for developing communication skills
Still from the film “Pelican”
We discussed with experts the techniques and methods used to develop communication skills.
