Is making choices generally difficult for you? But have you ever wondered what this permanent indecision hides? In her podcast, a psychologist deciphers this rather common phenomenon.
Whether it's choosing a dessert at a restaurant, the destination of your vacation or a slightly more serious commitment, it's always the same refrain: you hesitate, weigh the pros and cons for long minutes or even hours, and you you appear indecisive. But why ?
These signs that show indecision
However, we are constantly forced to make choices. 35,000 per day, according to a 2021 study published in Lightspeed research. But, 99% of them are taken by our brain before we even realize it. For the others, we hesitate. And some people more than others. According to Jemma Sbeg, Australian psychologist and author of That Psychology Podcast, several signs and behaviors betray this excessive indecision:
- The fear of failing and making the wrong choice;
- Fatigue and mental load;
- Perfectionism;
- Fear of the future;
- L'auto-sabotage;
- Not knowing what you really want.
An indecision that affects your morale
If it is not a dramatic problem, this inability to make choices can nevertheless prove difficult to live with on a daily basis and reflects in particular poor self-esteem, as the media points out.
“We are generally afraid of what we have missed. We prefer not to decide so as not to have to face a bad choice and the regret of this decision.”
For others, it is the consequence and symptom of a daily context which already oppresses us: “For some people, the mental burden of having to make a choice is too great and a source of stress. Sometimes people who are undecided don’t have the resources to make choices.”
Indecision can therefore go hand in hand with isolation, a lack of confidence or even sadness. Vigilance!
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Good in his body, good in his head!
How to fight against it?
Fortunately, it remains possible to improve your decision-making and stop ruminating (or less) when faced with a choice. According to the psychologist, you should work on yourself in several stages.
First of all, become aware of this indecision, recognize it, and talk about it to those around you, so as to accept this fault and no longer deny it. Then by taking stock of each decision by putting the pros and cons effectively on paper with the aim of no longer ruminating, but of making an informed decision. Finally, by celebrating the decisions you make, even the most trivial ones. Proof that you knew how to trust yourself.
Finally, it is also important to put things into perspective: a decision, even if it seems the most urgent to you, has little chance of stopping the earth from spinning. And you'll do just fine whatever it is.
