As soon as you start to confide, your cousin cuts you off and continues his story? Be careful, this could be a conversational narcissist. Decryption.
Do you know conversational narcissism? This is a very specific spectrum of narcissism, where the person asks no questions of others, hardly seems to care but always has something to say about themselves… How to recognize this typical profile and protect against it? Answers.
How to recognize a conversational narcissist?
According to Brian Tierney, PhD, professor of neuroscience and psychotherapist interviewed by the media Well&Good, the conversational narcissist is obsessed with himself.
“A conversational narcissist focuses excessively on themselves and will continually turn the discussion on themselves so they can highlight themselves or expand on their opinions“.
This is not a diagnosable mental health disorder, but rather a “pattern of behavior”.
“The speaker tends to dominate the conversation, often ignoring social cues that the listener might be disinterested or trying to contribute. It seems more like a behavior or trait than a syndrome itself“, agrees Professor Ben Bernstein, PhD.
An opinion shared by Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.
“This behavior manifests itself in a tendency to monopolize discussions, minimize or ignore the contributions of others, and constantly bring the subject back to oneself. So maybe it's the cause of something else? A need for attention? A weak self esteem ? Or a simple bad habit, not necessarily conscious?“, she asks.
If the reasons which explain this type of behavior can be multiple and numerous, the main thing here is to protect yourself from it in time.
Good in his body, good in his head!
How to manage your interactions with a conversational narcissist?
Meet a person who constantly brings the conversation back to themselves, “it can be exhausting and frustrating“, explains the psychologist. It is therefore essential to protect ourselves from it, so as not to let it invade us. Our expert then offers us several strategies:
- “Above all, it is important to set clear limits to preserve your own well-being. For example, we can decide to redirect the conversation in a gentle but sufficiently firm manner when we feel that it is becoming too focused on the person.
- We can try asking open-ended questions to encourage others to think about broader topics. Or try to express your own needs in a direct and respectful way.
- However, if it becomes too complicated and intrusive, it may be appropriate to consider limiting the time spent together… Or even favor seeing the person in a group rather than alone…
- And if we feel capable, we can approach the subject delicately, by saying things and explaining the problems that this may raise. That doesn't mean it's going to change things.”
