Haven’t met anyone interesting in a while? What if you are simply emotionally unavailable to a new romance? Johanna Rozenblum, psychologist, tells us more about this state… Which happens to us all at one point or another in our existence.
Love isn’t just about meeting people or chemistry, it’s also about timing. However, there are many events in life that can affect us or take over our love life and which mean that it is not the emotionally speaking time to get involved in a new relationship as a couple. And you know what ? It’s not that serious, if you ask yourself the right questions.
Emotional blockage can occur in several cases
For Johanna Rozenblum, there are many reasons in life that can impact our desire to be in a relationship, even if we are single, free, and in great need of love. “A person will not be emotionally available if they have not recovered from a previous breakup for example, but this may also be the case if they are going through a difficult period, professionally, in terms of physical or mental health, if they are in a period of major change at work, in a move, or if she herself encounters psychological difficulties. All these reasons can block us from projecting ourselves into the future”evokes the psychologist.
5 Signs You’re Not Emotionally Ready to Get Back Together
You still think a lot about your ex
If you’re not done with a past story, it’s hard to move forward. Especially since the person opposite will probably not want to engage in a romantic relationship with someone who has still not recovered. It is better to understand and digest a story before rushing headlong into a relationship that is not wanted.
You don’t feel much
If you’re not ready to get back into a romantic relationship, it’s quite possible that you’ll stay away from emotions and everything related to them when you meet someone. “With the added ‘guilt’ of not feeling emotions, butterflies in your stomach even though you want it to happen.”
You seek perfection
If no one ever finds favor in your eyes, it may also be a sign that you are not available. “Seeking perfection in others is putting your story in check since perfection does not exist and the other is not there to heal you. And more, with this attitude, we avoid knowing what does not work for us or what does not suit us” points out the psychologist.
You criticize everything the other does
You start dating someone but nothing annoys you and you find yourself being very critical? Again this could be a warning signal.It’s more interesting to know why we have this requirement, have we been disappointed, is it a fear of failure, or a social injunction because we estimate that at 30 or the more we should be settled as a couple with a family? Demandingness is often a symptom of something else.”
You ask yourself 10,000 questions, but not the right ones
Asking questions at the start of a relationship is normal, but if they keep reminding you whether or not you would like to be in a relationship with this person, this could be a sign. “The biggest barrier is not asking ourselves real questions concerning our needs, our desires, emancipated from our social and family life. Do we really want to be a couple? Are we sufficiently constructed, do we know ourselves well enough to know what we need? These are the important questions you need to know how to answer before you commit.”
Knowing how to look things in the face to move forward
The most important thing for our psychologist is to distinguish between what we really feel and what we expect of ourselves:
“What you have to watch out for is denial! Sometimes we have a very strong desire to find a love story again, because we think that it is what we need, what we deserve, what is suitable, when it is simply not the moment for us. You have to know how to listen to yourself, pay attention to signals, to somatization which can tell you that you don’t really want it.”
The psychologist reminds us that not being available romantically at a given moment is not a failure : “On the other hand, it’s about looking a little at what’s in the way, what’s causing us to step back, to hesitate, perhaps because we’re not ready, or because it’s not the right person .In all cases we must be able to look reason in the face.”