For many couples, the summer break can be a breath of fresh air as it allows them to spend more time together in a calmer and more enchanting setting than the rest of the year. On the other hand, for other couples, being together H24 can have the effect of exacerbating pre-existing tensions. And if the temporary separation was a way to save his couple?
The station wagon has always had bad press. Probably because it makes those who undergo it fear a definitive rupture not assumed by the one who asks for it. But contrary to what one might think, temporary separation can be a way for some couples in crisis to save the relationship. Explanations by Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist.
TipsForWomens: Can temporary separation when the couple is in crisis avoid a permanent separation?
Johanna Rozenblum : There is nothing dramatic in considering a period of separation if the decision is joint and its purpose is to initiate mutual reflection on the difficulties to be overcome. Being alone allows you to introspect and soothe negative emotions that could pollute your thinking. At a distance from the other, it is possible to listen to each other more, to try to understand the point of view of the spouse and to analyze the problems of the couple and the ways of trying to resolve them without having to manage the turbulence generated by the crisis situation.
How do you know when it’s time to take a break?
Johanna Rozenblum : When you can no longer manage to regulate your emotions, when anger, animosity or reproaches no longer make it possible to give meaning to the couple, or when you can no longer envisage the future as a couple. The purpose of this break will be to reflect on the possibility of a common future or the need for everyone to take a new path.
Should a framework be established before putting provisional separation into practice?
Johanna Rozenblum : Yes ideally, especially if one of the couple is more demanding of this break than the other. This will avoid plunging the partner into an anxiety-provoking climate that is difficult to manage due to uncertainty. Setting a framework will also help to lead his reflection since at the defined moment, it will be a question of meeting to discuss what the break has made it possible to understand. This framework can be translated into simple rules such as setting a break period during which we will try not to join, committing to reflect on certain points of tension defined in advance and which will be addressed at the time of the reunion. , also do some introspection so as not to focus solely on the other or even try to think of practical solutions in order to solve the problems rather than stopping at the findings of disagreement.
When should you consider the final separation?
Johanna Rozenblum : When love has turned into friendship or when the feeling of love has disappeared, and of course when the couple no longer allows you to be happy, to flourish, to project yourself into a common future.