Do you know the concept of “inherited divorce”? It could be explained by the influence of our parents’ divorce on our relationships as a couple. For what ? Because parents are, in fact, role models for their children. This is in any case the conclusion of an American study, which would explain why certain people reproduce, in their love lives, patterns similar to their elders. Psychologist Siyana Mincheva’s take on the issue.
If your parents are in a difficult relationship or have divorced and your relationship isn’t working either, it’s easy to see an explanation, a sort of cause and effect. According to a study published in the American Journal of Family Therapy, this link can indeed be explained. But is it always true? The answers of Siyana Mincheva, psychologist.
The concept of “inherited divorce” highlighted in this study
According to the conclusions drawn by scientists, children who grew up in a close-knit family with parents who are happy as a couple will begin their love life in a serene and secure manner.
On the contrary, children who experienced their parents’ divorce would be more anxious and develop avoidant attachment styles in their relationships. Can we generalize this type of conclusion?
A concept that is not always true, according to Siyana Mincheva
Asked about the subject, Siyana Mincheva believes that the subject “is up for discussion”. For her, we are all “unique and very different, but we have one thing in common: our benchmarks come from both of our parents” she explains first. “L“Growing up in an unstable environment, with domestic violence experienced through the parental couple, can destabilize the child in his future relationships, it’s a fact” she admits.
But fortunately, this is not systematically the case. “Even if a child lives in a toxic family, he may encounter other role models in his surroundings, showing him that other types of relationships exist. adds the psychologist.
Is it possible to have a healthy romantic relationship?
“Yes” affirms the specialist. “Just because a child grows up with divorced or separated parents doesn’t mean they’ll never experience love.” she believes. The role played by parents is essential in this case. “If parents protect their child, give him love despite their separation and remind him that he has nothing to do with the situation, this will allow him to grow peacefully and it will help him to build himself..
And once in adulthood, even in the event of failure in a relationship, the important thing for Siyana Mincheva is the experience acquired. “Even if you suffer after a love affair, all that matters is the experience. It allows us to move forward in life and seek a better version of ourselves.” she concludes.
