Is having a crush in a relationship harmless?

Is having a crush in a relationship harmless?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s possible to “crush” on another person, that is to say, fall for someone. Is it harmless for the couple? Scientists have looked into the question.

When you have been in a relationship for a long time, it is possible to meet another person – at the office, with friends or at the gym – who will turn into a “crush”. Does this crush, which you can have for one or more people, represent a risk for your relationship? Researchers have studied the question.

The longer you’ve been in a relationship, the more likely you are to “crush”

In this study, scientists recruited 542 volunteers who had been in a monogamous relationship for at least three months and who confessed to having a “crush.”

They were all aged between 22 and 35 and had to answer various online questionnaires, to find out if they had been attracted to someone other than their partner and to make the link between their commitment, their satisfaction with their relationship and their possible infidelity.

The results show that it is common for people in committed relationships to have a crush on more than one person other than their spouse.

Nearly seven out of ten respondents have already had at least two “crushes”!

Studying the responses further, the researchers determined that 34% of the volunteers said they often had a crush on another person. Which means that the majority, 66%, had already had at least two crushes during their relationship. In details :

  • 24.2% of respondents had a crush on two other people;
  • 14.7% had crushes on three other people;
  • and about 27.1% of volunteers even had crushes on four or more people!

The most common place to meet a crush: work

In the vast majority of cases – almost 70% – the partner is not aware of their spouse’s “crush”(s). For a little more than 38%, these crushes come with people they meet at their workplace. On average, the person has been known for two years, before an attraction emerges, for about a year.

However, these virtual infidelities rarely lead to real infidelity, even if crushes happen more to people who are not satisfied with their relationship. In fact, scientists have shown that people who are happy and satisfied in a relationship have less “crush”.

To find out how far these “crushes” go, the volunteers were subjected to a new questionnaire, four months after the first. Only 3% of respondents had succumbed to cheating on their spouse with their “crush”. In most cases, people remain loyal. All’s well That ends well.