You know people who are fans of the practice or perhaps you do it yourself: sleeping separately. Does this represent the key to the longevity of the couple or on the contrary, the sign of an end foretold? Insights from Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.
If the practice was unthinkable a few years ago, as the marital bed symbolized the couple, today more and more couples end up having separate bedrooms. What does this mean for the relationship?
Sleeping apart does not mean there is disagreement between the couple
So should you sleep together at all costs when you’re a couple? While some people wouldn’t consider doing otherwise, for others, sleeping alone is essential. The arguments are numerous: when the partner snores, when we have irregular working hours, when we do not have the same rhythm – with a night owl and an early riser – or for reasons of comfort, one preferring to sleep with a simple sheet and the other with two duvets.
Moreover, sleeping in pairs can be a source of inconvenience to sleep, with some studies having shown that we lose on average nearly an hour of sleep sleeping in pairs, rather than alone. Over time, this can turn into resentment and recurring arguments, not to mention the significant impact of chronic lack of sleep, both on physical and mental health.
Both parties must agree
Living in separate rooms does not mean that the couple no longer gets along… on one condition: both partners must agree. Indeed, this can only work smoothly if both parties want to sleep separately and everyone benefits from it.
If this helps ease tensions and the couple grows as a result, it’s a good thing, otherwise be careful of the frustration that this could cause in one of the spouses.
Each couple has their own way of sleeping
When interviewed, Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist, gives us her point of view. “I always say that it is important for the couple to sleep together, but we can also hear that for reasons of good sleep, we may want to have a separate bedroom. she explains first of all.
For these reasons, she believes that having a separate room can be a good solution with one condition. “The most important thing is to spend quality time together. Sleeping together is just two inert bodies next to each other. But spending some time together before one or the other goes to bed; sharing time, an activity, or simply seeing each other and meeting up in the morning can be enough to bond the couple together.” she assures. It’s up to you to choose, then.
