You may have recently seen American celebrities like Kylie Jenner or Taylor Swift appearing on the arm of partners who are completely different from their exes. In the dating world, dating someone who is the opposite of our usual type has a name: open casting. This trend involves getting out of your comfort zone and broadening your criteria.
When it comes to looking for love, we all have a list of criteria that our partner absolutely must check off. But once the relationship begins, we realize that these criteria do not necessarily match what we really want. And by sticking to this famous list, we all the time come across the same type of person – with the same qualities, but also the same faults – with whom we have not managed to build a real relationship.
Open yourself to surprises
To get out of this loop, why not try “open casting”. This “open casting” technique involves looking for completely different personalities. The idea is to stop going towards the same type of partner, and thus not accumulate the same failures. Psychologist Mark Travers, who analyzed the phenomenon for Forbes, explains that open casting encourages people to stay “open to surprises and discoveries about our own preferences. It reflects the fact that our actual desires may not match our perceived preferences and that we don’t always know what we’re looking for in a partner until we see them. This is why open casting can sometimes lead to more rewarding and fulfilling relationships“.
In 2022, the dating site Bumble conducted a study on the phenomenon with 14,300 users of the application around the world. 38% of those questioned said they were more open about their physical criteria. Around a third (63%) admit to focusing more on “emotional maturity” than “physical appearance”.
First question your own expectations
However, not everyone is ready to broaden their search spectrum. “A majority of people are still not willing to step out of their comfort zone. They have a type of person they like and stick to it“, explains Professor Bruce Y. Lee in one of his articles for Psychology Today. “If you continue to have bad dates and relationships, it would be wise to re-evaluate what specifically you are looking for in the first place“, he analyzes.
To apply open casting on a daily basis, several things need to be reworked. First, we must question our own expectations. And this, while being open-minded. Start by identifying the values that are essential to you, such as wanting children, your political and religious views or your personal goals, etc. It will be these same values that will allow you to draw the type of profile that really suits you.
Indeed, the cohesion of values remains fundamental to building a healthy relationship. When values come into conflict within a couple, it can cause a lot of frustration, and in the worst case lead to a breakup. So, making a little change in our habits can’t hurt.