In love, failures are difficult to live with and it is possible to hesitate, subsequently, to try new encounters. How to react when you “get a rake” as the colloquial expression says? Here is advice from Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist.
You took your courage in both hands to declare your love for this person who means so much to you, but unfortunately, their feelings are not reciprocated? If failure in love is particularly painful, it is possible to overcome it. Here is advice from Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist, on the issue.
What are the consequences of a “rake”?
Obviously, seeing the person we love tell us that they don’t share our feelings is not pleasant. But more serious, this rejection can affect self-esteem and self-confidence in certain people. To overcome the shock and accept this rejection, it is important to have internal resources, which will allow you to recover quickly and not let yourself be affected by the situation.
Three tips to overcome this failure
Take a step back from the situation
To move forward, it is essential to take stock of the situation in a positive way. It is important to put the emotions that overwhelm you into perspective and not think that this person is rejecting you. Instead of focusing on the “no”, it’s better to approach the situation by congratulating yourself for having had the courage to propose to him and to tell yourself that you weren’t meant to be together after all.
“This is actually the first piece of advice I would give.“Dear Johanna Rozenblum”Taking care of yourself and providing comfort to move on quickly is the first thing to do.”. You can play sports, start a new series, go out to see friends…
Make changes
The second advice from the psychologist is to “make changes to turn the page. This could be, for example, traveling, taking on new challenges…” recommends the expert. The idea is not to sit idly by, keeping the idea of this rejection constantly in mind. On the contrary, by keeping yourself busy, you won’t have time to think about it and you’ll move on more quickly.
Stay kind to yourself
But trying not to think about it and making the effort to do so does not mean that you will constantly be able to push this idea out of your mind. It’s normal to think about this person from time to time and the feelings you have for them will last for a while. “Remaining kind to yourself and not being too harsh when emotions overwhelm you is essential” advises Johanna Rozenblum. All this will eventually disappear, when you finally meet the person made for you.
