The reflex to avoid when your children argue

The reflex to avoid when your children argue

Arguments among children are commonplace. They are even more common between brothers and sisters. As parents, it’s difficult to position ourselves. How to react ? If it is not easy to advise what to do, a clinical psychologist explains on the contrary what you should definitely not do.

Disputes are sometimes very common between members of the same family. Brothers and sisters can bicker several times a day and as a parent, it is important to put these excesses of anger into perspective, because they contribute to the development of children and in particular their learning of social relationships. But how do you position yourself when your children ask you to arbitrate their dispute?

You should not try to find a solution

Questioned by our colleagues from Cerveau et Psycho, clinical psychologist Tanja Legenbauer explains that you should not want to resolve the conflict between your children at all costs.

If the parent takes sides, one child will be harmed and not the other. “In this case, there is most often a winner and a loser. This is never desirable, especially among siblings.” she explains.

Get them to find a compromise themselves

Rather than trying to find a solution for your dear little ones, the specialist invites parents to guide their children towards finding a compromise or a solution.

Instead of deciding directly between the two children who are arguing, it is better to play mediator, calming things down and encouraging them to find a solution for themselves or to propose one, but leaving it up to them. final decision.

Children fond of this kind of debate

In addition to relieving the pressure, asking children to find a solution will relax them. According to the psychologist, they perceive this as a playground that allows them to coexist, without bickering.

The parent can referee the debate and help each child express their position and arguments. This is how to turn a violent argument into great learning.