Are you looking to fully commit to a relationship? However, it is possible that you will meet a person who is the opposite, who will be characterized by a so-called avoidant personality. How to recognize this type of individual and why is it better to avoid them in certain cases? Explanations.
In human relationships, among the types of attachment, there is an avoidant type attachment. These are people who like independence, autonomy and self-sufficiency, which can complicate the romantic relationships in which they engage. And in particular with people whose attachment is called anxious, who function in the opposite way.
How to define people with avoidant attachment?
“People with avoidant attachment fear rejection and negative judgment from others. They avoid social activities and relationships because they fear being judged as inferior to others. They are people who are very sensitive to negative judgments“first defines Dr Céline Tran, psychiatrist in Paris.”This can be similar to social phobia, they are afraid of ridicule. These are generally people who speak little, who avoid contact that is too intrusive.” adds the specialist.
Where does this type of attachment come from?
“This type of avoidant attachment stems from the early years of childhood, when we understand our place in the world. explains Agnès Cateaux, psychologist. “It is one of the three insecure attachments. These people have not experienced stable ties with their parents and this stability, which is a fundamental need for all people, is not met in them.“.
In love, these are people who will put a certain distance and limits on the relationship, in their own way. “These are not people who are incapable of commitment, some will, but will be unfaithful, for example” adds the psychologist.
What relationships can we build with this type of person?
With a person with this type of relationship, it’s difficult to make plans. “We can plan to do something weeks in advance and she will cancel the day before” notes Agnès Cateaux. “Or it could be a person we see, but who no longer responds to messages, or rarely, afterwards“. Generally, there are several dimensions to a relationship and a person with avoidant attachment will therefore not respond on all levels.
The best thing is to know in advance what to expect, so as not to be disappointed. “A relationship with two people with this type of attachment could work, however, with a person who has an anxious type of attachment, with a great need for closeness, it is unlikely to work. concludes Agnès Cateaux. You have been warned.