What are behavioral patterns, what are they, and how to change them

• What is a pattern
• Kinds
• What are they influenced by?
• How to change
• Expert commentary

The material was commented on:

Victoria Moiseeva, psychologist and Psychodemia expert;

Ekaterina Kozeikina, psychologist, systemic family therapist.

What is a pattern

Pattern is a repeating pattern or pattern. From English the word is translated as “shape, model, diagram.” In painting, patterns are formed from repeating graphic patterns. How do they manifest themselves in human behavior?

Types of behavioral factors

It is impossible to list all behavioral patterns, since there are an infinite number of them, psychologists note. But they can be divided according to different criteria. What patterns can be identified within the framework of these criteria and how they manifest themselves in life, she told Victoria Moiseeva.

Adaptive and dysfunctional

• Adaptive patterns contribute to successful adaptation to the environment and achievement of goals. Example: a pattern of continuous learning, where a person regularly learns new information in order to improve in the professional field.

• Dysfunctional patterns may interfere with adaptation and achievement of goals. Example: conflict avoidance, when a person tries in any way to avoid confrontation, which can lead to the accumulation of unresolved problems.

Conscious and unconscious

• Conscious patterns – a person thinks about his behavior and decides to act in a certain way. Example: a person plays sports, makes an effort every day, and this becomes a regular habit, that is, a pattern.
• Unconscious patterns based on deeply held beliefs and past experiences. They are quite difficult to realize on your own; people mainly notice them when they receive feedback from others or while working with a psychologist.

Interpersonal and intrapersonal

• Interpersonal patterns manifest themselves in interactions with other people. Example: a tendency to compromise in conflict situations, which helps to find common solutions.
• Intrapersonal patterns relate to reflection and relationships with oneself. Example: a person thinks about what is happening and experiences emotions within himself.

What are the influences of behavior patterns?

Behavior patterns affect all aspects of life: health, relationships with oneself and others. Knowing your unwanted patterns allows you to take control of them, otherwise they will continue to work automatically, warns Ekaterina Kozeikina. In addition, knowing behavioral patterns and understanding how they are formed and affect life gives a person the opportunity to notice them and change them to more constructive ones.

How to change behavior patterns: 7 important steps

The first step to changing a behavior pattern is always its awareness, notes Ekaterina Kozeikina. For example, if a person knows about his tendency to criticize his partner as soon as he does not live up to some of his expectations, and understands that this most likely destroys the relationship, then there is a chance to minimize such behavior. True, doing this on your own can be very difficult; most likely, you will need the help of a specialist.

It is not always possible to completely abandon the pattern, but usually this is not necessary, emphasizes Victoria Moiseeva. After all, the more patterns, the more ways to adapt to different situations. And in order to change patterns, it is important to understand why this is necessary and why they do not suit you.

1. Determine in which area of ​​your life you are having problemswhat you are least satisfied with. To do this, you need to analyze how you behave, remember past conflict or emotionally difficult situations. “For example, if you can’t build close relationships, it’s worth assessing interpersonal patterns: how you communicate with people, how you get close, what prevented you from building intimacy last time,” explains Victoria Moiseeva. You can also ask others for feedback. If you haven’t been able to get a promotion at work for a long time, you should find out the reason from your manager or colleagues.
2. Find your triggerswhich cause certain behavior. “Once you understand what causes the pattern, you can try to avoid these triggers or find new strategies for coping with stress that are more suitable for you,” says Ekaterina Kozeikina.
3. Try new behavior as an experiment. After collecting feedback and identifying triggers, ideas should emerge about what behaviors might be more helpful. To begin with, try new patterns in less stressful situations. For example, if at work you decide to become more proactive and express more ideas, practice first in a conversation with one of your colleagues, and not at a meeting of the entire department, advises Victoria Moiseeva.
4. Try new behaviors more often. It may be difficult at first, but over time the new pattern will become part of your arsenal and will become easier to use.
5. Think about the consequences of your actions. Understanding the long-term consequences of the behavior you most often resort to, that is, old patterns, can increase motivation to change, notes Ekaterina Kozeikina.
6. Make a plan how you will change behavior. Include specific steps and a timetable for completing them.
7. Seek support from your loved ones. Family, friends or a support group for people with similar problems can help you work on changing your patterns.

Expert commentary

Due to the fact that in one way or another our behavior is strongly influenced by generally accepted culture and upbringing, and there are certain gender norms in society, male and female patterns of behavior can be traced, says Ekaterina Kozeikina.

For example, a man who follows gender stereotypes can be quite uncompromising: compete, argue, defend his interests. This behavioral pattern is not always useful, and sometimes even destructive, especially when it comes to close relationships.

Women, following gender ideas, may, on the contrary, try to be more gentle, which sometimes leads to avoiding difficulties, hushing up problems, and so on.

“But still, in addition to generally accepted gender ideas, a huge role is played by the environment in which people grew up, what rules and norms they absorbed from their parents and other significant loved ones regarding male and female behavior,” emphasizes Ekaterina Kozeikina.