Why do some people annoy us for no reason?

Why do some people annoy us for no reason?

Have you noticed how sometimes the simple presence of a person is enough to put you on edge? But why this reaction? Science has explored the subject.

Have you ever felt inexplicably annoyed by the mere presence of someone? Without a doubt. The worst part is that these people often haven't done anything wrong, but they horrify you, and you don't know why.

The way we express our emotions plays a role

The reason for this aversion could be found in psychology, behind a concept that we can call “the emotional presence” of a person. This concept was first used by psychologists Noah Eisenkraft and Hillary Anger Elfenbein in a 2010 study. According to them, certain people exert notable emotional influence that can have a significant impact on how people feel. that surround them. Emotional presence would thus have the power to put those around you at ease or completely uncomfortable. In addition, it would have a lasting effect over time.

But what is this emotional presence due to? According to researchers, this comes from the way someone manages and communicates their own emotions. When researchers studied the difference between those that made people feel safe and comfortable and those that made them feel uncomfortable and irritable, they found that the differences in speaking styles seemed to be the cause. For example, one person may appear aggressive and competitive while another appears warm and friendly.

Good in his body, good in his head!

How to improve your emotional presence

That being said, is there a way to improve one's own emotional presence (which can thus avoid annoying others…)? Yes, according to cognitive neuroscientist Dr. Christian Jarrett, who establishes that we can actually change our personalities to be much more fun to be around.

According to him, the answer lies in our everyday actions.

“If you want to develop a more open-minded, more sociable and warmer personality (and therefore more attractive, editor's note), an important way to achieve this is to strive to place yourself in situations that lift your morale” .

This requires being a bit strategic when planning your time, and taking “positive” actions, but on the other hand, it can increase your popularity rating. His prescription? Instead of facing weekends of boredom and emotional turmoil, try to make more of an effort to plan ahead and look for sunny places that promise more joy… Another rule is to surround yourself with people which you find friendly. Advice that should rub off on your own emotional presence.