At the RTL microphone, Yvan Attal spoke about the incredible bond he had formed with Jane Birkin. Common phenomenon or surreal scene? How to get along (for real) with your mother-in-law? The answers of Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
Would getting along with your mother-in-law be possible? Yes, if we are to believe Yvan Attal’s moving speech, delivered on the RTL microphone. Charlotte Gainsbourg’s companion is full of praise for her mother-in-law, Jane Birkin, who died on July 16.
She had become “like a sister”
“I’ve been with Charlotte for thirty years and I’ve always been lucky to have this sublime mother-in-law in front of me, who was completely generous. But she had also become like a sister, me who was an only child“, he explained, before adding that Jane Birkin had formed a very strong relationship with her own mother. “She did me a huge favor by going to see her when I wasn’t there, when I was working, she spent a lot of time with my mother. And sometimes, she pulled up my straps when she felt I wasn’t doing enough. She was like a sister playing this role. And now that she is no longer here, I have lost my mother-in-law, a sister and then, my mother has also lost a presence that was very, very dear to her“, he added.
If the very strong ties that seemed to unite Jane Birkin with her son-in-law, Yvan Attal, make you want to, the reality is often different.
First of all, the mother-in-law-son relationship should be distinguished from the mother-in-law-daughter relationship, explains Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
“Female rivalry does not come into focus in the first situation. The son-in-law/mother-in-law relationship is often simpler and more peaceful. The spouse can even come to calm down the mother-daughter relationship, which is sometimes complicated. On the other hand, in the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship, the mother has the impression of “giving” her son… Result: the daughter rarely seems up to the task,” indicates the expert.
How to get along with your mother-in-law?
From the start of the relationship, establishing healthy foundations is essential, in particular by listening to others and respecting their ideas.
“It is necessary to understand fairly quickly how the mother-in-law works and to accommodate her expectations, to side with her, while avoiding putting yourself in opposition as much as possible. Finding areas of agreement and listening is also essential“, notes the psychologist.
On the other hand, when the mother-in-law is considered too intrusive, one should not hesitate to set your limits gently“, concludes the expert.
