Are you going on one night stands without really settling into a relationship? What are the unconscious reasons that prevent you from finding your soul mate? We asked Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist, and here are the three most common reasons.
We can have no difficulty meeting people but encounter difficulties in making them last. If you are tired of only having short romantic relationships, there may be one or more unconscious explanations for all this.
Fear of commitment
When you have to get into a relationship with someone, you gradually formalize the relationship with your loved ones. And for some people, getting involved in a story, building something serious with someone, can be scary. “Meeting people does not pose a problem for them, but when it comes time to make it official, it can be more complicated, this often has a link with a lack of self-confidence” believes psychologist Johanna Rozenblum.
Fear of being single
It may seem paradoxical, but people who have trouble finding a soul mate are actually afraid of being single. They therefore engage headlong in a story, without trying to find out if the partner really suits them, but rather to avoid being single. This type of behavior is very often doomed to failure according to our expert.
Flee at the slightest complication
Some people sometimes look for the slightest excuse to escape the relationship. A simple feeling of unease, a small remark… These hiccups are enough to escape and end the relationship.
“In these people, this behavior often comes from conditioning from childhood which makes them think that they will not find a person who can love them, just as they are.” explains our specialist. “In this unconscious belief, in reality, there is a lack of self-confidence, these are phrases that were repeated during childhood, which are anchored“.
How to regain self-confidence, in love?
For the psychologist, we must fight against this belief, it is “possible that we love and be loved in return“even if you have been made to believe the opposite. To regain self-confidence, you must first understand your needs, and learn to know yourself from a sentimental point of view.
This allows you to avoid repeating past mistakes and learn to manage your emotions. Once your self-esteem is regained, you will be able to open up more to others, in order to engage in a balanced relationship.