“Dexting”, this form of toxic relationship causes strong disillusionment

“Dexting”, this form of toxic relationship causes strong disillusionment

Some people practice ‘dexting’, a new trend that singles should avoid if they do not want to commit long-term to a purely virtual and platonic relationship.

You finally found it, and it matches! He or she confides in you, listens to you, makes you laugh, and tells you about every moment of his or her daily life, tirelessly, to the point of having established strong and solid bonds. The ideal partner, you could say, with one exception… You’ve never met him before. It may seem unimaginable, but many users of dating applications form virtual relationships that last over time without ever, at least for a while, seeing the slightest date on the horizon. This form of romantic relationship is called ‘dexting’, and it could turn out to be much more toxic and futile than it seems.

A solid but platonic relationship

It is to Amanda Bradford, founder of the dating application The League, that we owe this portmanteau which is nothing other than a contraction between the terms ‘dating’ (‘meeting’ in French) and ‘ texting’, as Glamor magazine points out. As you will have understood, this is a relationship based on the exchange of SMS messages, whatever their content, and which is therefore not based on a physical meeting.

According to Cambridge University Press, which set out to decipher “the new terms around romantic relationships that (its) team has seen gain popularity over the last twelve months”, ‘dexting’ consists even more precisely of “exchange numerous text messages with a person met on an application without ever seeing them physically“. This form of relationship does not prevent you from forming strong bonds with your partner, on the contrary, since communication is its basis, but that does not mean that it is beneficial for the two people involved.

Waste of time and disillusionment

At first glance, ‘dexting’ can be ideal for those looking for a relationship of trust based on authenticity, without having to really commit. “Dexting is practical. It can make you feel like you’re in a relationship, without you having to do the work or spend the time necessary to make a real connection“, indicates Amanda Bradford, relayed by Glamor. And to specify: “These relationships can last longer than actual relationships, and it’s comforting to have someone to text rather than being completely single“.

But you only need to look at the publications associated with ‘dexting’ on social networks, TikTok in the lead, to realize that this form of relationship can turn out to be toxic. The user @sarahlauren71, whose video has been viewed more than 700,000 times, makes it clear: “no more dexting in 2024”, specifying that this type of relationship may seem exciting, but that there is nothing healthy about it. An observation born from her own experience, the young woman explaining having “dexed” a potential partner for several months before meeting him only to finally realize that he did not correspond to her expectations.

She also specifies that a person, whoever they may be, is not the same depending on whether they are behind a screen or face-to-face. A fact that many users regret after having experienced ‘dexting’, and which should encourage more than one (and more than one) to avoid this practice conducive to (dis)illusions and a possible waste of time.

@sarahlauren71 no more dexting. #fyp ♬ original sound – Sarah Lauren