Is routine necessarily bad for the couple?

Is routine necessarily bad for the couple?

Routine is part of everyday life. It can reassure or, on the contrary, scare. Often described as a poison for life as a couple, is routine as harmful as people say? Answers from Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist.

Routine is often accompanied by good habits, which structure the day. As a couple, routine can be reassuring, it also sets the pace for partners’ days, but it is often considered the start of a less exciting phase. Is this really the case in the couple?

Routine allows you to reassure yourself

“Routine is not necessarily bad for all couples, it depends on the couple, the expectations and the personalities of each person. There are people for whom routine is reassuring, reassuring” first explains Johanna Rozenblum.

The familiar side of routine therefore allows us to be reassured, it responds to a need for security. With a little daring, the routine can even be a pleasure, a way to strengthen your relationship and to be, quite simply, happy together. “This could be having coffee together in the morning, sending messages or calling each other during your break, or having an aperitif in the evening when you get home, to discuss your day.“. A special moment in the day to unwind.

Routine, a shield against a tumultuous daily life

Like a sort of refuge, routine allows you to cope with everyday life, which can be more difficult outside. “Routine can be like a shield, in the face of a more tumultuous daily life, with other aspects of life (professional for example), more subject to hazards” adds our expert. When the work day has been trying, coming home to recharge your batteries with your partner is a source of comfort.

For some, routine can be distressing. “Some people hate everything that is planned, on the contrary. The routine will then be a source of anxiety for them” further indicates the specialist.

Add a little spice to everyday life

Whether routine is desired or not, in a couple, in any case, be careful not to rely entirely on the other. To externalize your emotions, your doubts or your fears, you sometimes have to go through personal work.

It is also possible to spice up your daily life with small activities to set up for the couple. “For those who appreciate routine, we can spice up the relationship with little things. It’s not necessarily a big adrenaline rush. Not everyone needs this!” note Johanna Rozenblum.

Plan an outing, a moment to escape from everyday life, share a sporting activity, a weekend, a visit… All of this can only be beneficial for the couple and can positively relaunch the bond already present in the couple “.