Are you getting into a serious relationship? Should you apply the famous three month rule? A psychologist enlightens you.
As its name suggests, the “three month rule” consists of waiting three months of a relationship before making big decisions. Indeed, at the end of this period, we would be able to know if our partner is right for us or not. Reliable method or not? Psychologist Linda Carroll shares her opinion with you.
An essential period to better discover others
These first three months are compared to a trial period during which we get to know each other. At the start of a relationship, both partners generally let themselves be carried away by passion and budding love. However, it is important not to go too quickly, otherwise you risk ruining everything. The “three month rule” would then help to delay these beginnings and help you not to make plans on the comet.
The therapist specializing in romantic relationships explains to MindBodyGreen: “Take it easy when making big decisions. Merging can confuse you and cause you to engage in situations that may not be wise or healthy for you in the long run.”
This time should therefore be used to discover as much as possible about the other person before committing. This is the time to learn how to communicate with him, to set your common limits and to identify what is wrong.
In summary, these three months must be used to take an objective look at your relationship, and to approach the future with your partner in a calm manner.
A rule not to be applied literally
However, the famous “three month rule” should be taken with a little lightness because the aim is not to put pressure on you. Indeed, passing the three-month mark does not mean that you have to take out the engagement ring. In case of persistent doubts, it is normal to continue to discover the other and to extend this trial period a little. Furthermore, it is important to remember that a person can hide possible toxic behaviors for a period much longer than three months.
Likewise, if after two weeks you already identify certain prohibitive criteria in your partner, there is no point in waiting three months for the sole purpose of respecting the rule.
In conclusion, although it is useful for taking the time to discover the other person, this rule must be used sparingly and not follow the three-month deadline to the letter.