Marking the occasion when meeting, then giving less and less of yourself so that the other person is always in demand for affection, here is a new toxic love technique revealed by social networks. Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist, explains to us why the Penny Method should be avoided.
Toxic personalities never lack imagination when it comes to keeping prey under control. After narcissistic perversion, and the love bombing technique, here is a new approach technique called “Penny Method”. This consists of voluntarily and little by little reducing the efforts made at the start of the relationship so that the other person is satisfied with only the bare minimum of attention given.
A male confession revealed by TikTok
The penny dating trend became clear on social media when Erika Tham, a TikToker, shared a video explaining the method after hearing it from one of her friends. According to the words of the young man with whom she spoke, many single people use the penny method when they want to form a relationship.
What does this method consist of? In a more or less significant investment in the relationship with a very specific goal: to damage the partner’s esteem. Thus, according to the explanation given, the woman would be perceived as a piggy bank (hence the name “penny”, or “cent” in French). The investment at the time of the meeting would therefore be maximum, “like putting 100 dollar bills in the piggy bank” says Erika Tham. Then the investment would reduce over time.
But if it is sometimes normal to make a little less effort later in a relationship, the Penny Method goes further than that: over time, according to his friend, the man would deliberately and drastically reduce the attention and efforts given to his partner with the aim of eroding his self-esteem to the point of accepting no longer receiving the affection she deserves. “You basically just keep repeating this cycle and weaning her off your efforts until you get to the point where you give her a few pennies and suddenly she’s excited to get a hint of attention.”
♬ original sound – Daisy🌼🏳️🌈
A relationship that is manipulative
Intrigued by this revelation which is sweeping the Anglo-Saxon networks (as of November 24, the video had been viewed nearly 8 million times on TikTok) we asked Johanna Rozenblum, psychologist and member of our expert committee, what she thought of this new kind of relationship. For her, there is nothing healthy in this approach to the couple.
“I didn’t know the Penny Method, but we are clearly in manipulation levers, which are very similar to those of love bombing. That is to say, the act of creating a feeling of intense love in order to create dependence, then reduce the romantic bond to nothing to make the other suffer. Finally, the other becomes imprisoned waiting to find the person from the beginning, and is satisfied with the slightest attention, the slightest little phrase or compliment that “we want to give it to him. There is something of the order of manipulation, which is neither sincere nor healthy. It is a way of keeping the other within his reach via a mechanism of control. “
Erika Tham was horrified by her friend’s comments. And was quick to share his discovery with the web to alert young women looking for love. “Never accept anything less than $100.” she concludes, returning to the metaphor of this infernal piggy bank.