Family

The “momcation”, these mothers who decide to go on vacation alone

The "momcation", these mothers who decide to go on vacation alone

The mental load of women does not necessarily take a vacation… And it is illustrated even in the sending of the postcard, since 75% of the people in France who perpetuate this tradition are women! But in recent summers, a trend has begun to gain ground: that of “momcation”. An English portmanteau word that refers to mothers who decide to leave fathers and children alone for a break alone or with friends…

“Don’t forget to send me a postcard!” Far from falling into disuse, this little attention that consists of sending a souvenir of your vacation directly to the mailbox of your loved ones continues to please. A tradition that lasts, but which still seems to be mainly incumbent on women. According to figures recently released by the postcard sending application Fizzer, the mission of thinking about sending a postcard is fulfilled by more than 75% of women. Adding to the long list of things women need to plan for, including when they’re on vacation.

Go away for a weekend

An Ifop survey published last year indeed revealed that the holidays were far from rhyming with a reduction in the mental load which weighs on women. According to the survey, 54% of the women questioned say that they take care of preparing the meals at their vacation spot (compared to 24% of the men), 53% personally assume the cleaning and upkeep of the vacation spot (compared to 15% of men) and 48% of French women take care of the choice of accommodation alone (compared to 26% of men). However, the subject seems to be made aware by the women who do a large part of the work, since 41% of the latter admit having already quarreled with their partner because the latter was not involved enough.

To emancipate themselves from this mental burden, some women go even further and decide to throw everything away for a weekend or a few weeks, just to take a (well-deserved) rest away from all family responsibilities, whether they then delegate to their spouse. In the United States, this phenomenon, which is gaining more and more momentum, has a name: “momcation”, a portmanteau word derived from the terms “mom” (“mom”) and “vacations” (“vacation”). But it also shines on the other side of the Atlantic, as can be seen with the rise of the “momcation” hashtag on social networks: nearly 80,000 posts on Instagram, more than 14,000 views on TikTok. .. In the photos, women are smiling wildly, whether they’re by the pool, cocktail in hand or getting ready for a “girls night”. Clichés that diffuse a scent of freedom.

Grow outside of being a mother

If the word is relatively recent (its appearance dates back a few years), the desire to hang up for a brief period and leave men in charge without really giving them the choice has existed for decades. Evidenced by the success of French comedies such as the film “August 15” (Patrick Alessandrin, 2001). Unfortunately, it is difficult to say that this new way of taking vacations will be well received, even in 2023. Because the idea that mothers can leave their homes, even for a few days, can make them feel tackling selfishness (or even worse), in a society where women are still considered “more willing” to fulfill their role as parents than fathers, as highlighted by an Insee survey published in 2017.

However, taking time for yourself is essential for relaxing, recharging your batteries and fulfilling your potential outside of your role as a mother, for example by rediscovering certain aspects of your personality. Above all, momcations allow you to resume your daily tasks while having filled up on positive thoughts and experiences. Be careful though: this solution will have little chance of proving miraculous if it is only applied a few days a year. Yes, like everyone else, moms need to breathe regularly.

About author

Maria Teolis is a psychologist. Collaborator at the Elpis Center of Ispra (Varese) multidisciplinary study specialized in the diagnosis and treatment of developmental disorders (behavioral disorders, learning, etc.), psychotherapy for children and adults, psychomotor, pedagogical, speech therapy, educational and osteopathic treatment, where she deals with training activities and strengthening specific skills and is involved in different types of projects aimed at children and adolescents. It collaborates with a cooperative offering educational and support services to children and young people with behavioral problems, learning or problems of different nature related to the evolutionary sphere. Attentive to the aspects of psycho-motor development, she carries out activities with children aimed at strengthening and increasing motor, emotional and relational skills. She currently attends a master in Sports Psychology. [email protected]