Marriage is a significant milestone in the life of a couple. But over the years, the relationship can deteriorate and some end up divorcing. What are the secrets of a happy marriage? Here are the answers from Siyana Mincheva, psychologist.
Marriage is an institution. Some dream of it, others don’t imagine being able to take the plunge one day… Once married, the reality can be quite different, to the point of divorce. So what are the secrets to a happy marriage? Here are the answers from our psychologist, Siyana Mincheva.
Put your ego aside
“When you get married, you have to see marriage from a pragmatic side. We forget the romantic side that we can see in sentimental comedies, or in fairy tales.” explained Siyana Mincheva.
According to her, we must also be aware that we all have flaws and that worries, failures, frustrations and arguments are part of the couple’s history. “We do not separate at the slightest obstacle, we try to work together, as a pair, in the face of the problems that we may encounter. When there is a difficulty but both face it, the couple is moving forward.” she believes.
Listen to yourself and others
When we get married, we forget the idea that the couple must be perfect for life, without flaws. “We love others with their imperfections, their flaws” adds the expert. “You have to listen to yourself and each other, so that you feel better as a couple.”. For the psychologist, “a couple with a future is a couple full of empathy, kindness and generosity. The disagreements and faults of each person make it possible to form a couple that complements each other..
Accept the compromise
“When the other accepts us, we do not try to give rise to false hopes, we do not want them to be our mirror at all costs. explains the psychologist. “We talk, we gently explain how we see the situation.”. Without wanting to change the other, in any way.
Trust each other
It is the glue of a solid couple. “When the couple is based on kindness, generosity, benevolence towards each other, mutual trust develops naturally over time. added Siyana Mincheva. “Our other half can lean on us in times of difficulty and that is reassuring.”. On the contrary, this same trust, once broken, is almost impossible to restore.
Don’t try to change the other
If we want to change a person, it means that we seek to impose our “superpower” on the other. “It’s never good to want to change someone, whether in love, but also in friendship.” assures the expert.
Have the same value system
As a couple, it is important to see things the same way. “Having the same system of values, based for example on loyalty, trust… This shows that a marriage will work over time. The couple has the will to move forward and if they want to change something, they will do so together, to pull each other up” she concludes.